Life in Poems
by SlytherinsScribe
Summary: Yeah, I know, the title sucks. Pretty much, I took 3 poems I wrote in the past, and wrote a new one, that are intertwined in stories of Harry Potter characters. rated T for character death. Pairings: NT/RL, AD/GG, and more...


A/N: Alright, I'm writing this because I'm getting fidgety after submitting my first job applications, and needed to write something. The poems I used were written three to four years ago, and ARE original poems, so no stealing. Each part will have the name of the poem, the year I wrote it and the person that it's seen through. Thanks for reading.

**1. This is What Keeps Me Sane, 2005, Tonks**

A late May rain was falling, and most would have said it was most unfitting for the time, considering just a few days ago Lord Voldemort had been killed. I disagree, the rain is perfectly suited for the situation, because most don't realize how many people died, who all died…

_Listening to drops of rain,_

_And the sound of a train,_

_My world has turned dark and grey,_

_Happiness and joy have gone away,_

Remus died…

_Tears of joy and tears of pain, _

_This is what keeps me sane,_

I sat in our room, even though they're dead I still call it that. Them, plural. We- I-, it was so stupid. Remus, me, mom, we all knew the house wasn't safe, but we left mom and Teddy to go fight anyway. I got home two days ago to find them both dead, it took me two hours to get myself composed enough to call Moody. He was worried about me when he arrived, offered me a place to stay so I could be away from the death. I refused.

_The darkness spreads the gloom, _

_Inside of this four walled room,_

_When you're drowning in despair,_

_No one ever seems to care,_

I had to be here, the room that I had stripped of pictures, the crib, and taken away their clothes, but could still feel them. The room I had found my mother and son dead in, I couldn't leave…

_Darkened room, empty, plain,_

_This is what keeps me sane,_

No one's checked in on me since Moody took the bodies away. I got a letter though, Harry wanted to give Remus a proper burial. I replied saying if he was up for planning it, to go ahead. I wish some one would talk to me in person.

_No joy to those who've los one dear,_

_When silence is the only one to hear,_

_A silent solitary tear,_

_Tears of joy and tears of pain,_

_This is what made me insane,_

Saturday Harry picked me up for the funeral, he looked concerned, but didn't question my jeans and sweatshirt, or my mousy hair, or the fact that I hadn't slept in a week and looked the part. He just gave me a hug and activated the portkey that took us to the windy cemetery near where Remus had grown up.

_Thunder strikes funeral night,_

_No hopefulness in sight,_

_Knowing your loved one is bound,_

_To be buried in the cold hard ground,_

I probably knew everyone there, but I didn't see any face but his while I was there. I heard comments from others, generally concerning the wedding ring I had refused to take off. I couldn't move on, couldn't accept my werewolf was dead.

'_There's others' they all say to you,_

_But your life is over, your life is through,_

_Tears of joy and tears of pain,_

_That's what keeps me insane,_

That night the insomnia caught up with me, I couldn't stop fidgetting and my mind flashed between Remus and Teddy's dead bodies. I tried taking a calming potion to take the edge of my nerves, but it did nothing, if anything, it made everything worse. That's when I finally went to the kitchen.

_Stroke of midnight tolls loud and clear,_

_Your sweet voice is echoing near,_

_Staring idly at the steely knife,_

_Waiting to take my own life,_

I was back in that room, knife in hand, and unsure why I was hesitating. Mom was gone, Teddy was gone, my drive in life had been to help bring down evil, which had apparently dissolved with Voldemort's death. Most of all, Remus, the werewolf no one could understand why I loved, was gone. No one would stop me, no one would care, other than Moody throwing a fit over having to train a new protégé. I made up my mind.

_Metal cuts through my chest,_

_A wiling fall for life's last rest,_

_Tears of joy and tears of pain,_

_This is what made me sane._

**2. Stands Still, 2005, Poem only, you can decide who**

My heart beats fast,

I hear yours stands still,

You lay miles away,

You've passed over that hill,

Loneliness shrouds my head,

And sorrow clogs my throat,

Your memory weighs me down,

Like a thick winter coat,

I can see you clearly,

But only in my mind,

Your soul has left me,

And this world behind,

My family is all around me,

In what I see as an empty room,

I must go on living,

I assume,

For I will see you once more,

Once I join you above,

And over that hill,

So here I wait still,

Thinking of the heat I love,

That now stands still.

**3 Of Regret, 2006, Albus Dumbledore**

If I could change the past I would,

And never let things intertwine,

If a memory could change it should.

Looking back, I knew that my mistakes had harmed far too many people. Ariana being the first in a long list of innocents hurt by my plans. It all started when dating Gellert, which, if I had the choice, I would have gone through everything again just so I could look back on the memory of when we did love each other. Or, when Gellert had loved me, I had never stopped loving him. Even when he did become power hungry and begin the events that led to Ariana's death.

Perhaps I should have understood,

That my life would become malign,

If I could change the past I could.

I had tried to live on my own, without Aberforth's criticism of my choices, I flourished mentally, gaining knowledge. Aberforth pointed out that it wasn't wisdom, and that I was treating life like a game where pawns were expendable, and I shouldn't treat people like that. I didn't listen. Of course, I never listened whenever he told me that Gellert was corrupt, I should have believed him then, too.

For what I did there came no good,

Looking back, my life was divine,

If a memory can change it should,

Gellert finally gained the status of the darkest wizard of my time, and the ministry knew I was the only one who could defeat him. Of course, we never told anyone about our relationship when we were teenagers, it had become a taboo subject that no one thought to ask about. I doubt many people knew either of us were gay while we were still alive. Of course, when I was told to kill him, I failed. Whether he still had feelings for me or not, I'll never know, but he pulled at every feeling I had left for him to save himself, and it worked. I've never let anyone close since, afraid that if I had to kill them, like I shoulf have killed Gellert, I would fail again.

I know I just misunderstood,

What it would do to my design,

If I could change the past I would,

And then I failed with Harry, so many times. His parents' deaths, his relatives, keeping so many secrets, and year after year asking him to complete tasks that no child would normally be expected to do, and having him face so much death. And after having my fair hand in all that misery I caused him, he still trusted me, blaming only himself. And the worst of it all, was after Sirius' death, the devastation on his face, which reminded me so much of my brother's after Ariana's death, I couldn't help but let him rampage on. He needed to release his anger, and I deserved the ruined trinkets, because it was my fault in the first place.

I must forget for my own good,

Just let the memory resign,

If a memory can change, it should,

My worst mistake though, was Tom, a boy I knew would use his amazing powers for evil, and I let him go into the world. When he was thirteen, I caught him practicing dark magic in the astronomy tower. He should have been expelled, wand snapped, kicked powerless into the muggle world. But no, I saw the part of him that was hungry for power and sympathized with him. Telling him off, and giving him a second chance. Every time I heard he attacked, that one school day all those years ago comes rushing back, because I know that it's my fault.

I must have done the worst I could,

And built up all this guilt of mine,

If I could change the past I would,

If a memory can change it should.

**4 My Dream, 2009, Hermione, Molly, Fluer, etc.**

I've had a dream since I was a little girl,

To live like a queen in the magical world,

Marry a man who's handsome and rich,

And be a beautiful pampered witch,

I'd have one child, maybe two,

And be picky about what school they go to,

I'd have exotic pets and fancy clothes,

And be the woman everyone knows,

I'd host a famous Christmas party,

And have a servant that I'd call Marty,

I wouldn't have to cook or clean,

Just relax, if you know what I mean,

But as life went on my dream changed.

As my priorities rearranged,

So it was in a back yard that I wed,

And became a Mrs. Weasley instead.


End file.
